How a tiring and restless nite for me. Let me tell u what happen.... :(
It started at ard when my ex bf, S called me and say wan to chat wiz me. Ok, since i have abit of time so i chat wiz him. But my main aim is to put down the phone within 15 mins. i knew everytime if over 15 mins, tings will get out of hand sum how.
Sure engh tings reali went out of control, the more he said, he more he made me blow up sooner. So i dropped him a hint and told him i wan hang up the phone. SO STUPID! ( HE DIN EVEN CARE WAT I WAS SAYING) and continued his stupid toking. Making me Flaming angry. Tis is how the conversation go like.
S: R u still angry wiz me?Me: No, i dun remember unhappy ting.S: So if u forgive me, why u dun wan come back to myside?Me: Excuse me! Do u noe forgive u is one issue, going back to u is another issue. Pls dun mixed it up. Ok?S: But u know, other den u, i wun love another gal liao. U also dun wan see me turn into a gay rite?Me: Huh? U seemed to be telling me sumting. S: No, i din wan to pressurize u . i Jus wan to tel u how i feel. Beside, i listening to wat pastor say jus nw..... To communicate.Write until here.... i felt i m flaming up liao. What the heck lah. So idoit! In my heart, i m tinking, is this how u tel other how u feel in such a irritating and threatening way??? $%^&*@# feel like screaming at him.
Things doesent stop here loh, he continued his theory toks, saying hw pity he is last time wiz his ex gf. Den hope i understand y he did those tings to me during his r/s wiz me. Who wan to remember those humilitating Moments when i m wiz him.( Better not to mention.... Make me so sad now) I guess no one wan to remember the hurt other given u rite?
The more he say, the more i cant take it...... That it..... I blown up...... i shouted over the phone at him. " S, Do u noe u r making me angry when i tel u nicely that i wan put down the phone, yet u din wan to put down! You tink wat! Communication is one time huh! " feel so bad to wake my poor mum up due to my long screaming and shouting voice. All bcos of that Stupid S.
He keep calling me non stop. Making me so flared up wiz him. Childish way for a 27 yrs old to behave like that. After putting down the phone, i cal his mum up immediately to complain. Guess Wat!!! His mum pls wiz me to go pacify him to calm his emotion down. If not, he will not go report work again on sun. WAT! ME AGAIN! that the tot in my mind.
I cant understand y i gt to be the one doing all these. It like so UNFAIR, INJUSTICE and HURTING. Cos the person who make u angry gt emotion problem den i gt to put down my pride once again to calm him down. #$%^&*(@!) Why the world like that one???
M i too soft hearted on s?
It abt 11 plus that i settled him. Put down the phone, i go back to room to tink thru wat happened. The more i feel the more i m upset and den tears started to stream down my eyes. So i dropped my bf a msg to tel him wat happen.
Slowly, i fel aslp while crying. Suddenly, my hp ring.... My bf cal and checked on me hw i m nw. So i reply him i m okie liao. Den i told him that i m scared if tis matter dun settled, it will affected our r/s in the future. He asked me not to tink so much. Den as we tok some more, i cry again. Cos i feel so useless cos i let tis matter dragged on for more den 5 mths plus. I seemed so vunerable in front of my bf. Dunoe y, my normal strong self image is no longer there. Jus like a baby waiting for sumone to hug me, to comfort me. My bf did all his best to comfort me. Telling me it not me i m useless but my ex the way he do tings making me feeled stressed out that all. He comforted me until i stopped crying.
I counted myself to be luckily to have a bf that stand by me and care so much for me. If not for him, i wun be able to run the love journey wiz him. Cos i know i found the rite one for my second half of my journey. Thanks You Dear, Zuo Xin. I LOVE U!
